How can i put it into words

I haven’t submitted anything to this page for some time now, though I must say it is not due to lack of activities and incredible moments. In the past month I have run the streets of Moscow, cooked shashlik in the park, played soccer through the woods, screamed with the Spartak soccer fans in Moscow’s stadium, enjoyed spring time in all its glory, rode through the city in a limosine, toasted in Red Square, and fist pumped at the concert of a popular Russian band. I have taken two over night trains to St. Petersburg and back, walked the same paths as Russian Zars, dipped my hand into the bay of Finland, partied all night in the alleys of Petrovska-Razumovksaya, cheered on Russia at their Victory Day parade, and watched the twilight fireworks from the roof of a twenty two story building. To say the very least, my time has been one chain of amazing events that should certainly be worthy of many blogs. I am not sure why I haven’t been motivated to write about it. Perhaps it is due to a small disconnect with home, and a profound contentment with everyday life in Russia.

You see, my blog page started as a way to record my Russian adventures; adventures that were outside of the norm for me. Somewhere along the way, though, all of my activities began to become normal day life. At that point I think it became weird to blog about that (though I know people do it all the time) and there went my motivation. Russia no longer felt like a story I needed to share, and instead had become my life.  Of course it may have just been because I got lazy. I’m going with the first explanation though. Another setback in journaling has been the sheer inability to do so. Successfully conforming such a dimensional experience to fit within the limits of a blog page is an impossible task. It troubles me that I could never put into writing an explanation that would do this experience justice. I could search the pages of the dictionary for the perfect words, but even Mr. Webster could never help me write in a way that gives a reader a complete understanding.

Now though, I cannot help but reflect back on that adventure. Just as quickly as my life in Moscow started, it ended, and a few plane rides is all it took for me to physically leave Russia – a piece of cake really. Now, if only it were that easy to emotionally leave Russia, then I would be in great shape. The level of difficulty in leaving Moscow has surpassed that of almost all other events in my life, and I think it may take time before I stop aching to have it back. Of course I am not really sure that it is in fact possible for a person to live anywhere for four months and not long for it once they are gone. It really can be somewhat of an empty feeling. At the risk of sounding extremely unoriginal, I’d like to say that I left a piece of my heart in Russia. Lucky for me though, I also took so much back with me that I could not feel more whole. I’ve actually had this blog written for a while now, but I took my time in posting it. I guess the idea of “my last Russia blog” seemed too final, and I wasn’t ready to make that transition. After contemplating this, though, I figure that we are always in some sort of transition; always moving, always changing, and always growing… its just something to embrace, to enjoy, and to accept.

Metro Security

One of my most frequent Moscow experiences has been riding the metro, and I must say it is always an adventure. Whether it is busting out in random dance parties, having conversations (in Russian) with strange drunk people, or getting lost, it is never just a simple trip. What I find most interesting, though, is Russian Metro security – or should I say, lack of. Let me briefly explain how the metro system works. You either have a frequent users card to be filled each month, or you buy passes at the desk each time. To enter the metro, you need to swipe your card before passing through the stalls, otherwise it will slam closed against your legs.  These are supposed to the two metro options; however, lack of money or perhaps laziness has led to a third option. Many (and by many I mean a whole ton of younger people) simply jump the stalls, or they stick to the person in front of them and go in as one. It’s a free metro ride to anywhere from there. Are these metro “rabbits” (as they are called) reprimanded by the elderly female standing guard? Yes, of course they are. They receive the harsh punishment of a whistle blow and an under-the-breath mutter. Sometimes, if the guard is especially ferocious, she will wag a finger in their direction. The perpetrator then usually looks back with a sly grin and raises his/her hands as if to say “I jumped over it on accident”, and then continue on to wherever they are going. After seeing this over and over I just felt compelled to blog about it J

Oh Russia.

Going to a football match tomorrow! Will be sure to write about it J

Four Months

Two months ago it seemed like I would be here forever, but now, with a month left, it really has gone by too fast. Four months is a tricky amount of time. It is long enough to be somewhat of a big deal, but it isn’t long enough to have been gone a “really long time”.  It is long enough to be independent and disconnected from home, but it isn’t long enough to have a fully functioning life here.  It is an awkward in between length of time, and it can be frustrating, really.. It was just enough time to get established, get into a routine, and make friendships… and then leave it all. Before I ventured out on my little journey, I thought hard about the transition from home to Russia. What I didn’t really think about, though, was the transition back. It may be safe to say that leaving Russia is going to be harder than it was to leave home. I guess it is because when I boarded the plane to Russia, I knew I would be back home eventually to jump back into my normal routine. That isn’t the case here. When I leave Russia there is no guarantee that ill be back here again, and the friendships I made here will not be the same. With all the gray days, cold weather, and language issues I had a hard time believing that I would ever come to love this country. It turns out I never really had the option. I think Russia was growing on me before I even stepped off of that plane three months ago. I don’t know why I ever (even if for only a minute) doubted that God would bring me comfort here. He did every single day, and for that I am truly grateful. Being obedient to Him gave me this wonderful opportunity that will forever have an influence on my life.  I sometimes think of my life at home as my “real life”, and Russia as a time-out from that. This isn’t true, though. It is one big continuous phenomenon, and my four months here will always be a huge part of that.  I can’t thank God enough for bringing me here, and I will miss it a ton. But, I still have time here… so im going to go enjoy it :).

 

 My Russian Family <3

Enjoying Each Day

This past weekend the sun was out, the sky was clear, and I was going stir crazy inside. (If you know me, then you know what I am talking about) I may have literally been twitching. Miles must have somehow tapped into my brain, because he asked if I was up for an excursion to the park. YES! So, an hour on the metro later, we left the gloom of the underground and found our way to the park.  We walked through tree-lined pathways until we came to several churches that were nestled just off of the river. Like the rest of the Orthodox churches in Moscow, they were grand and beautiful on the outside, and humble and cozy on the inside. 

We then made our way to another large church, surrounded by a large concrete wall. The cutout archways in the wall perfectly framed the scenery behind it. I could see a bright blue sky and the Moscow River rippling under the sun - I literally took off running. It was so beautiful my words and pictures could never do it justice. It was hard for me to realize just how much I loved nature until I was deprived of it.  For lunch we packed sandwiches, and we sat on the steps of the bell tower to eat. As I rested against the ancient building, the bells began to play and the wind danced across my face – it’s the happiest I have been since I’ve been here. I could see the city from here, and had a new appreciation of it. I felt part of Moscow and knew that, in some small way, I would now be a part of its history. Ah that wonderful feeling of being tiny. :) After lunch we walked along the river, thrilled to see the ice had melted. After being cooped up all winter, the river was now free and moving under the sun, and the local ducks were joining in its celebration. Exploring a little further, we found a small wooded pathway that dipped and curved through the hillside. The birds began a light tune, and the wind’s quick gusts and stream’s steady trickle joined together in a forest symphony.

Before I go to sleep every night, I lean over and mark the day off of my calendar. As I flip through it, though, I can’t help but think ahead. Pictures in my mind turn with each flip of the calendar page. June and July are blurry, but they are sunny and warm. I smile at August because I know I will be home by then. School will have just started and I will be stretched out under the shadow of the flagpole.  Yes, August’s picture is definitely the LSU parade grounds. September will be busy. School will be in full swing, as will the sleepless nights. It will be filled with routines, alarm clocks, and coffee.  Pictures of the coffee house and pajama parties in studio fill my mind, and I change the page. October is painted in purple and gold. Cheering, singing, and football dominate my mind’s view. The air is changing, and it is fresh and new. Excitement rides along the cool October breeze, as I tighten my scarf and stand small in the stands of Death Valley.  On and on I flip, and on and on the pictures come until I rewind back to march; to the present. I realize that I hardly acknowledged its space in the calendar. I live out an incredible day, but give it only brief acknowledgement before crossing it off and flipping to April – to the future. Once again, my mind is months ahead of my body, and I am daydreaming about tomorrow. Its silly really, when you give it some thought. Neither April nor May, nor even tomorrow are guaranteed; however, today I do have. Today was given to me, and is filled with the joy of knowing Him. Each small box that marks the days on the calendar is like a perfectly wrapped gift from the Lord, bought and paid for by Christ.  

Weekend getaway

This weekend I traveled to a small town outside of Moscow. When I say  “travel” I do not mean what you would normally think of. I realize that I have taken the ease of traveling in America for granted – walk 15 meters or so to the car and go. That is all. Here, you walk to the metro, ride the metro for 45 min or so, wait for the train, ride the train for over three hours, take a car or bus 40 min to the settlement, park the car down the road, and finally make it to the house. Now, that is hard-core traveling. There is no last minute runs home. It was certainly an adventure though.

Forty minutes from everything else, nestled between snow banks and pine trees, is a small settlement of Kaluga.  There are a few apartment flats, a couple of houses, endless fields, a recreational center, and a small tin store. For miles that is it, and it was wonderful. The family we stayed with are the parents of one of our Russian friends. From the moment we arrived, they were incredibly hospitable. We didn’t speak each other’s language but it was never a problem. They offered us warm clothes and a warm meal, and I couldn’t be more grateful.  In fact, I think I am still full from visiting. His mother cooked every meal and served us the whole time. When I would finish my plate she would ask if I wanted more. Id say no thank you, she would ask why and gesture for just a little more food. “Chute Chute” shed ask. “A little?” Id say ok, and she would pile on the food. Don’t trust a woman housewife when she says “only a little more” ;).

I was incredibly impressed by this woman. She cooked, she cleaned, she worked, took care of the sick grandmother, sung in the National choir, played volleyball, and was just a wonderful person. She really did it all. Russian women are amazing. I do not want to give the impression that I say “housewife” in a negative way. At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, and I almost wondered if she was taken for granted; however, after being there for five minutes I could tell that wasn’t the case. Her and her husband were sweet together. They both were hospitable, and he helped serve tea and cut bread, and if there wasn’t a place to sit she would sit on his lap. You could tell she absolutely loved her family. It made me miss my family a lot. There’s just something comforting about a mother.

On Sunday we celebrated the coming of spring. We went to the festival and watched the activities. They had a pole climbing competition, food, a raffle, and the burning of “winter”. We were entered into the raffle and won 30 kilos of potatoes, 3 tons of manure, and an oven mitt. Id say we came home BIG STINKING winners! :)

After the raffle we were abducted by the sweetest women and played dress up. She thought it would be fun to play “Barbie” with the American girls. She put us in traditional Russian dresses and made us pose around the room. It was both a fun and extremely awkward situation. Nobody was speaking English, and we were all laughing and talking at once. My heading was spinning but it was a lot of fun, and certainly a one of a kind experience. The same lady is also a National singer. Their group is amazing – I mean incredible. I was very much impressed.

 

This weekend was amazing, and it was nice to get out and see “real” Russia. The air was fresh, the stars were bright, and the people were friendly. I could not have had a better time.

unified in Him

The weeks here are beginning to feel like days, as the squares on my calendar seem to be filling up with “x’s” rapidly.  So, I want to say that time is passing quickly. When I look back on it as a whole though, it is as if time has tricked me, and has not passed at all. I have only been here a month, but it feels like much longer. I do not really know whether to say it is flying by or dragging on. Time is as indecisive here as it is everywhere else, in that some days are fleeting while others seem endless.

Last week I finally got connected with a church here in Moscow. Ten a.m Sunday morning we headed out, and after eight metro stops, two changes, and one attempt at asking for directions, we found the church. The small Russian woman who helped us was sweet and gave us candy (yes, I took candy from a strange lady on the street). When we told her we were American students, she responded with excitement and a lot of talking, smiling, and pointing. I sure wish I knew what she was saying. “я не понимаю” I kept saying ( “I don’t understand.” ) She smiled and laughed, and then continued on in Russian, smiling and pointing. So, I went back to smiling and nodding. Finally, we got there. On the third floor of a Planet Fitness building, we found people from all nations worshiping and praising the God I know and love. Hands of different colors were raised in praise to Christ.  How big our God is! There were students from Ghana, Nigeria, Korea, China, India, Russia, all over the States and more. When we walked in, the choir was singing about searching and finding none like our Lord. “I searched all over, and found nobody like You” she sang. She may have literally been all over, I thought. Hearing her proclaiming truth through her song brought me peace and comfort, and I joined her in worshiping our God. When we came back to the hostel we told some of our friends and they too may join next weekend. This week has been one of the fleeting ones I was speaking of, since it is already Sunday again. I look forward to my second visit to this church.

I am also realizing how much I took the Rings convenience for granted. I am by no means saying that my love of my church is limited to the fact that it is convenient. I am noticing, though, that it is easier to be committed when you know all of the people, it’s a 5 min drive or walk in pleasant weather, and is just familiar overall. Maybe my commitment to the church was based on the actual church, rather than God. I want to love the church (capital C) because HE is committed to and loves the church. Good music, good people, convenience, and a cool pastor are great things – but, by themselves, are empty.  I want to be part of any church that shares in my beliefs because it is part of a movement; a part of His plan. The foundation of my love for the church cant be because I think the service is awesome. It must be because Gods will is awesome, and being part of whichever church I am attending at the time is part of that will. It is going to take a new kind of commitment I think, but I am going to have a lot of weeks to work on it. I will keep taking it one day at a time.

Days like these are wonderful and are the ones that fly by, but the longest days are those that I feel most like a foreigner. Every giggle at my speech, every second glance from passing people, and every judgmental stare on the metro is intensified. It is on these days that I miss the bliss of my usual naïve self; days that I miss my natural reaction of assuming that everything people are saying in Russian is a good thing and they all love foreigners. They say ignorance is bliss, and I must agree with this unknown “they”.  I often can’t sleep at night and so I am allowed too much time to think of these things. This is the case again tonight. As I sit here writing this, I can look out over Moscow from my window. The converging streets, the colorful blinking lights of buildings, and the smoke from all-night roadside food stands are all in my view. I can see others out there who are awake as well, and I feel no different from the people of Moscow. They, like myself, never sleep, are watching the same blinking lights, walk the same streets, eat from the same vendors, and are under the loving protection of the same God. We may speak different languages, wear different clothes, and perceive each other differently, but we are not so different after all. We are ALL created in His image, and in that we have unity. We are connected not by our cultural traits, but by the One who gave them to us.  Whether I wake in Louisiana or Russia, I still wake to see the sun He created for us. It is the same sun Abraham, David, Christ and all those before me woke to see, and is the same sun that those after me will sit under. It is a reminder of His eternal love and glory that connects all life. My home is wherever He is – I am home.

 

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
 Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for the sun,
which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat. 

Psalm 19

Everyday life..in moscow

The weeks here are beginning to feel like days, as they are flying by. Though it also seems slow - as a whole I mean. My calendar is filled with "x's" and shows that I have only been here a month; however it feels much longer than that. Moscow is becoming "home" and when I hear people speaking in Russian it hardly seems foreign.

We have not run out of things to do yet. The other day, a few of us roamed around Moscow and ended up at a Georgian restaurant. It was delicious. We managed to get by with our terrible Russian, and ordered well (in my opinion)

For valentines day we went bowling! Yes, bowling. It was easily one of the best valentines days ive spent. I am beginning to grow very fond of everyone here, and I may be dreading the day we all part. Other than that, we have begun incorporating movie nights into our weeks. We use the projector and our little "family" piles up into one of the rooms and spends the night watching movies. This has been one of my favorite things. While its freezing outside, we are warm and cozy inside.

Not a ton of things have happened, but all of it has been wonderful. We are all just living life, but in a different city.